BE MORE

Some nights you drink tea, Some nights you drink whiskey. Tonight, I drink tea. Good night lovers

The first step is to honestly assess and acknowledge the wrongs you've done and how they have affected others. Avoid judging yourself too harshly. If you're truly sorry for something you've said or done, consider admitting it to those you've harmed. Speak of your sincere sorrow or regret, and ask for forgiveness — without making excuses. Remember, however, you can't force someone to forgive you. Others need to move to forgiveness in their own time. Whatever happens, commit to treating others with compassion, empathy and respect.

When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge — or embrace forgiveness and move forward. Who hasn't been hurt by the actions or words of another? Perhaps a parent constantly criticized you growing up, a colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. Or maybe you've had a traumatic experience, such as being physically or emotionally abused by someone close to you. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger and bitterness — even vengeance. But if you don't practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. - Mayo clinic health letter.

These steps will help you pull the root of bitterness and resentment from your life...!! Count the cost : What is bitterness costing you? How is it impacting the quality of your life? How is it affecting your future? When you take time to count the cost, you will find yourself ready to drop the bag of bitterness. Acknowledge what you have lost : Acknowledging our pain is part of healing. Allow yourself to grieve. Confront the offence : It's the offence you confront not the offender. Own your piece of the action: What was your contribution to the situation? It's not about blaming yourself; it is taking your power back. Decide to forgive : Let it go, even as you do this, it could still be hurting. Do not hold on to bitterness. Plug into the right resource : This is not the time to surround yourself with people who will identify with your pain and support your right to keep it.  Connect with people who will help you release the hurt and move through the process. Pray :

Chapter Seven Bouquet of THORNS Removing the offences that poison. There is a saying that ''Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. The offences we carry are deadly toxins and they are heavy.  -Dondi Scumaci. These are the things people may have done or not , said or never said to us. They are the betrayal, broken trusts, and slights. Many a time people hurt us on purpose and other times not a deliberate act, and due to the above mentioned, we hurt deeply and the hurt becomes so heavy to carry. And at this point we just need to forgive and save our-self from this bitterness. It is very important to forgive. Forgiving is a decision- a choice. It means choosing to forgive when your have been hurt. My dear, be careful what you give your strength to. There are many situations or actions that are not worthy of our time , reaction or strength. Your strength should be for those things that would help you be a better human. It is

Every night her thoughts weighed heavily on her soul, but every morning she would get up to fight another day, every night she survived. Good night rest..!!!

WE ARE WHAT WE REPEATEDLY DO.  EXCELLENCE IS NOT AN ACT,  BUT A HABIT...!!! - Aristotle

Are you among those who spread despair and worry? if yes, STOP it.. Or Those who strengthen the heart and prepare people to step confidently into their destiny? If yes, blessing.

Ready about and study turnarounds- these are stories of people, communities e.t.c that made great comebacks. Surround yourself with hopeful people, people who have relentless faith, people who see the possibility and promise,and please remove yourself from those who are pessimistic and negative. When you do this darling, the crowd will clear. Begin each day with positive affirmation about your life,your goals,and possibilities. The perfect way to conquer worry is taking it all to God in prayer.

CHAPTER SIX BREAK THE WORRY HABIT According to the author, worry is the greatest stumbling block of the mind and i could't agree less. Why worry so much? Many of us have a masters degree in worry. Some of us have perfected our act of worry with a life time practice and in all of our worry nothing of good value is gained. Oh wow, we are just professionals with a lot of experience but have nothing to show for it. All we have got to show is our sad face and our coiled lips. Worry will never change an outcome, solve, or initiate a miracle. But my dear, creativity will, persistence will, action will, prayer will. Worry cannot do any of these,instead, worry will keep you from doing all the right things that will make a difference. What we focus on will feed and what we feed will grow. why worry then? You need to understand that when we feed our problems with worry, they will grow. Dondi, the author gave an example, ''imagine throwing your car into reverse, slamming y

When you know better you do better.......!!!!

It's critical that you fiercely guard what climbs into your brain. It is also critical that you maintain and build your self-esteem because your children will inherit your self-esteem and your child's self -esteem is the foundation for the choices they will make throughout life. Please do not destroy their future with low self-esteem....!!!!!!!

Low self-esteem plays a role in depression,  addiction, eating disorder,  violence  and a lot more...!!!

People with low self-esteem tend to be more negative, critical and defensive. They also have a difficult time adapting to change, taking risks and accepting feedback.  Nothing is empowering or attractive about these.

Self-esteem is an achievement, a process that empowers, energizes and motivates. Will talk more on self- esteem. I need to leave now for Toastmasters international meeting

Chapter 5  THE SHALLOW GROUND -  DONDI SCUMACI Like i said earlier, everyone needs to cultivate the habit of reading books - books change lives. Some books make us to understand that we are not alone and some you read and it fills you with this weird Evangelical zeal, and you become so restless and convinced that the shattered world will never be put together unless you do something about it in your own little way and you pray in your heart that every human read the book.  A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies said Jojen. A man who never reads lives only once and this is true.  Straight to my read, the chapter 5 of the book ready, set, grow is titled SHALLOW GROUND and it is all about how we hurt and destroy ourselves because we seek PERFECTION, APPROVAL/VALIDATION and we COMPARE. These three hot topics that she discussed in this chapter is everything and now i know better,  Perfection leads to over-controlling and over-controlling is a great de-motivator. It

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Accept who you are.      This is the first step towards becoming      better than you are..!!!

Menstrual hygiene day or Menstrual health day (MHD or MH) day is an annual awareness day on every 28th of May, to highlight the importance of good menstrual hygiene management and it's aimed to benefit women and girls worldwide. The objectives of MHD Include; To address the challenges and hardships many women and girls face during their menstruation. To highlight the positive and innovative solutions being taken to address these challenges. To catalyses a growing, global movement that recognizes and supports girl's and women's rights and build partnership among those partners on national and local level. To engage in policy dialogue and actively advocate for the integration of menstrual hygiene management into global, national, local polices and programmes. To create an occasion  for media work.  This day makes audible and visible a growing  movement that promotes body literacy and autonomy. (source Wikipedia) Women let's educate ourselves and girl

Use a personal journal: It is one of the best ways to get in touch with yourself and your feelings. It takes discipline to keep one but if you stick to it, it will surprise you of what you'd learn about yourself. Over time you'd notice trends in how you feel in the events that trigger those feelings. Pull it up by the root: when you find out where the rejection was planted you must pull it by the root. Pay attention to your feelings: to both what you feel and why you feel that way. Accept responsibility: accept your mistakes, learn from them and let it go. Find a confidante: confide in someone you can trust, someone who will tell you the truth and will not judge you. Please be careful who you confide in so you don't compound your problems. Always remember it is not about you: when people are negative, critical or judgmental towards you, they are revealing themselves. My dear, repeat it over and over again till you believe it; its not about you, it's about them.

Morning lovers, Trust we all had a restful weekend? Well, mine got busier instead. I'm kinda exhausted but i feel good. Couldn't share a review of chapter 4 of  my read over the weekend due to time and other personal stuff but i'm here now.. Who missed me? ..... So, this chapter is about REJECTING REJECTION, the author did a thorough job writing this chapter. It's a chapter i personally connect to deeply. We all kinda feel rejected at some point in life and many of us stay in that space for so long. We don't even know how much harm we do to ourselves when we refuse to reject- rejection. The root of REJECTION lie deep within ourselves. Rejection knocks us right over when we accept it. People who reject themselves have long-standing feelings of unfitting. What happens on the inside of us is often a clue of what is happening on the outside. It's not the experience of rejection that causes us to reject ourselves. It is our response to the rejection. Know you th

M aybe this day is not O ne of your favorites,But N ever forget that every D ay you wake up is an A mazing gift and it's up to Y ou to make it come....!!! Good Morning beautiful soul...

Another condition that feeds the victim mentality and helplessness is self-centeredness. Selfish attitude....!!!

When we learn to be helpless in one set of situation, we may carry that forward in the next and next...!!!

Learned helplessness is the reaction of giving up because we don't believe anything we can do will make a difference. Why would you want to do this to yourself? ....

You are not a victim of your past, your present or your genes. You have choices and options. You can empower yourself, even in the most difficult situations. In the end, it is not what happens to you, it is how you respond that will become the story of your life.

3 . HELPLESS BECOMES HOPELESS Like i promised Three (3) days ago that i'd be reviewing each chapter as i read. Before i start, i'm encouraging  those who can afford to buy this book to try and get a copy(ies). You need to read it to rediscover yourself, your passion and purpose. Okay, straight to my review. If you are learning to be helpless, my dear you're learning to be hopeless and it is a  bad thing to do. According to the author, ''our society encourages people to think and behave like victims''. And its the worst thing you can do to yourself. When you develop the habit of feeling entitled and credit for low accountability , you actually teach yourself and the people who admire you that it is the way forward.  People who act this way do not accept any kind of responsibility . They have bad attitude(s), they blame it on others . Bad  behavior,  it's another person's fault. Wrong decision(s), oh, he /she made me do it. Nothi

Do you believe the future has amazing possibilities for you or are you frightened of what the future may bring? If you walk in fear of the future rather in confidence, fear becomes the lens through which you look. With that perceptive my dear, you will naturally respond to the perceived threat, not the opportunity of a situation.....!!!

Chapter Two EXPERIENCE CAN BE A BAD TEACHER!! ! After reading chapter two of this wonderful book by Dondi Sccumaci, it opened  my eyes and thoughts to the need to unlearn and rewrite the wrong lessons learnt  from life events of the past.  According to Dondi, ''when when we learn the wrong lesson from experience, we teach it to others''. We pass along a dysfunctional legacy. I couldn't agree less. For this reason, we have a lot of bitter people everywhere. I want  you to know that an event or experience doesn't have the power to shape our expectations. It is the way we interpret and summarize  the experience or event that does that. How do you tell your story? What have you decided to remember or take from it? it is what we replay in our brain that craves the memory into our minds. Don't take away from any event or experience the wrong lessons, because it won't do you any good. Rather the wrong lessons demoralizes you and steals your confide

Do not diminish yourself by saying '' i can't  do this'' or  '' i don't deserve anything good''. Even though you maybe at rock bottom, you're of great worth in God's eyes. Trust him even when you feel hopeless, and he will come to your aid.......

The most successful people are also the most hopeful and optimistic. Their beliefs empowers, energies and embolden them... Think about it....!!!! Have a restful night.

Beliefs bear thoughts. Thoughts bear words. Words inspire behavior. Behavior gives birth to results..... What are your beliefs? Just asking for a friend though...!!!

Positive beliefs empowers you, These are the beliefs that make you resilient and give you the courage to press on even in the face of adversity...

So, yesterday i promised that i'd be reviewing each chapter of the above mentioned book written by Dondi Scumaci. It is a great book. It is packed with so much wisdom and Knowledge. So, i'm glad to share.... The first chapter is titled ROOT BOUND...... It's about those beliefs that limit you from becoming better. We all know that Root-Bound plants run out of room to grow because they only have a limited room, freedom or space. This exactly is what happens to us as humans. What we believe about ourselves, others, our future or events of the past , shapes our thoughts and growth, thereby influencing our results and future. It is very easy for the root of belief to become twisted and tangled and when they do everything about us suffer including our relationships... If we must grow to become better humans, we must unlearn to learn to break those self-limiting beliefs of ours. If what we believe about ourselves and future are bound in a negative belief or cage, then we can'

Problems are magnified when you look through glasses of fear. Why compound your problems?..!!!

Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, ''GROW-GROW!'' - The Talmud

So, it's a less busy day and i just started reading a book by DONDI SCUMACI titled Ready, Set, Grow..... The book is about how to rediscover your passion, defeat your fears and design the life you've always wanted. I will be reviewing a chapter everyday... You can buy and read with me. Shalom ..!!!

Please, who knows how i can talk to a colleague of mine about his body odor? This kinda chat is one of the most awkward chat to have. How do i tell him his hygiene isn't up to snuff?. The odor is sickening and i think it's so unfair for someone to make another sick with their body odor. Maybe he doesn't know about it but he needs to know and find solution asap.....!!!  

It's going to be hard , But sweetheart, hard is not IMPOSSIBLE...!!!!

Take one step at a time. Focus on what is in front of you. Deal with what is ahead when you get there....!!!

If we tackle our fears friends, whether real or invented, we will be able to overcome them and achieve our life goals ..!!!

Our fingerprints  don't fade from the lives            we touch.. Good Night lovers!!!

Time to get it done. Back to work!!! 😉

Who has read!!! The absolute true diary of a part-time Indian?   I looooooooooooooooooooove this book.  This book is funny, Heartbreaking and brilliant.

IT'S NEVER   TOO LATE TO      TRY AND MAKE        THINGS           RIGHT.....!!! Go GIRL...!!!!!!!!

Focus on your goals first.... Hey lady, Stop looking for a partner.  Focus on your goals and  rebuilding your life. The right person will find their way to you. Courage girl....!!!

Today Be nice Work hard Be brave.

Create a vision that          makes you want to jump                    out of bed in the Morning.

Staying motivated is key. There is a lot to know about motivation, and what it can offer you.  First of all, Motivation is the inner power that pushes you towards taking action and towards achievement.  Motivation is mechanized wish and ambition, and darling if they are absent, motivation is absent too. Motivation is triggered by external forces, such as the example of successful individuals, a book, a certain event or even heartbreak.  All the above mentioned awaken the desire to be more, be better, follow a dream, change something or a certain task. My dear,  sometimes, you might have a desire to get something changed or done or move to another level, but if the desire and motivation are not strong, you'd lack the push you need, the willingness and initiative to take the required action. A motivated person takes action and does whatever is needed to achieve his or her  goal. Lack of motivation means lack of ambition, lack of passion, lack of taste, and lack of class. You

Do what you love  and you will not have a problem with Monday.....................

Weekends are the most talked about . Starting from Thursday evenings , people will start making plans for the weekend.  It,s good to unwind after a busy week. What do you do with your weekends? i really care to know. For me, if i'm not attending  a literary meeting (i love poetry) , i hang out with friends or just sleep in. I need to spice up my weekends, please............. Any suggestions?

Stars can't shine without  darkness..............

What a day? ..... Oh yea it was a good day by the way. It was long, stressful and fruitful. I'm not gonna bore you with my business. Here is to share how i relax after a long day.................................... Every so often, we have a long day. Whether it is the amount of work we need to do, studying, clashing priorities or a bad long day, all these can be very challenging and hard to recuperate from. 1. I take a warm or cold bath / shower: a great way to feel refreshed after a long day is to have a cold or warm bath / shower. I love the feeling of water on my body. If makes me feel better. 2.  I change into comfortable clothes, it feels so good to change into something so comfortable after a long day. Who cares about something fashionable after work? certainly not me.....to feel comfortable is my aim and every little thing i can do that will help me feel better. 3.I do something i enjoy, doing something a enjoy make me feel better and relaxed. Well, i listen to sub

A relaxing, peaceful night at home is one of life's greatest pleasures.

Hard work beats  talent any day.....

The best part about life? Having the opportunity               every morning  to      become a better human...

Don't rely on your talent alone. The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, But they, while their companions slept,  were toiling upwards in the night. - Unknown  I love this quote folks. If you want something out of your beautiful life, you must put something in it. There is no short cut to success or becoming a better human. You must work for it. Your talent is what God put in you before you were born. What are you doing to sustain it? Your skills are your hard work. Sweetheart, commitment is what you must put in today in order to make this day your masterpiece and make tomorrow a success. There is no room for laziness, your life is yours, own it and teach it all that would nourish it. Have a nice day........................... off to work.

Start each day with a positive  THOUGHT

The best part about life? Having the opportunity               every morning  to      become a better human,

Good morning Beautiful souls. Be kind to yourself today.

I am not heartless, i just learned to  use my heart less

You just have           one life. Don't waste it         in chasing shadows. What kind of        shadow are you chasing?

Just on Saturday, i made a decision to focus on my areas of strength not weaknesses. And always to grow on areas that will add value to me personally and professionally. I have decided to move on from a relationship that doesn't make me happy anymore. This relationship is exhausting. You know the kind that your partner goes ahead to ignore your emotional needs because he thinks and believes you'd be always there waiting for him. I'm not making excuses anymore for anyone. It's going to be hard because i really care about this person but i'm not looking back this time.So, i'd be laying the cards on the table, if he likes how i want things going forward, i am ready to give him a second chance, otherwise, good luck to him.  So the decision to start enjoying and focusing on my future is non-negotiable. I'm learning on becoming a better person and if i'm giving so much time learning these things, then i had better learn to love  and enjoy them. Hope the dest

I will be making one of the toughest  decisions this week.

Never you settle. You deserve  the BEST.

Distractions come in different  forms and shapes. may we know them  when they surface.

Do more  things  that make you forget your phone .

Stop calling it a dream, start calling it your plan.

How you choose to show up magnetizes  what shows up  for you.

A Sunday well spent brings a week of content

You were born to win , but to be a winner,  you must plan to win,  prepare to win  and expect to win.

Don't wait for everything to be perfect  before you decide to enjoy your life. If we wait until we are ready, we will be waiting for the rest of our lives.

Tolerance is a virtue that a lot of us lack and it is a most have. It is one virtue that we all need in our day to day living to allow us a level of peace of mind and body and be at peace with people.We must respect each other. But nowadays we have become so insensitive, so aggressive and intolerant towards ourselves and others. This brings me to what happened to me while on my way to work today. I boarded a taxis and from the moment we exchanged pleasantries till we got to my office - the driver did not for one second allow me a few seconds of quiet or peace. At some point i almost said to him please can you keep quiet for a second but i couldn't say that to him.I then decided to put my phone for a while and listen to what he was saying and in the end, i'm glad i did. He was frustrated about some family problem ad just wanted someone to listen to him vent. The story was about his married daughter who is being abused both physically and emotionally. He sounded helpless. I

Growth is never by mere chance, it is the result of forces working together. -James Cash

Without continual growth and progress  such words as improvement, achievement  and success have no meaning. -Benjamin Franklin

Keeping your temper in check can be very challenging. Think before your speak. In the heat of the moment, its so easy to say something you will later regret. So, about five minutes ago, a colleague annoyed the heck outta me. This guy is always in the habit of pissing me off. Those things i can't stand, he would want to do. The most annoying part is,  we do not share the same space- office, but he sees nothing wrong in coming over to my office, stand by my head and crack unnecessary jokes. So it happened that a few minutes ago, he left the office kitchen, left his office and settled by my head to eat one of the food's i just can't stand for a second (sardine&salad). I said please leave , but he wouldn't listen. I repeated myself the second time and this colleague of mine wouldn't just move. So, hen I shouted at him to get outta my site, he became offended. Why? because i used a harsh tone on him. I still, won't have him stay in my space, i ordered him out.

Everyday you wake up you have one JOB: to be better than yesterday.

Please, make sure you read all the way down. This quote is profound: If  you will take the time to read I promise you'll walk away with an enlightened perspective. The subjects covered  affect us all, on a daily basis:     They're  written by Andy Rooney, a man who had the gift of saying so  much with so few words.  .........Enjoy......... I've  learned ...That  the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly  person. I've  learned ....  That when you're in love, it shows. I've  learned ....  That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!'  makes my day. I've  learned ....  That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the  most peaceful feelings in the  world. I've  learned ....  That being kind is more important than being  right. I've  learned ....  That you should never say no to a gift from a child. I've  learned ....  That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the  

There is no secret,  you can get there if you are willing to work

You can't let people scare you. You can't allow people kill your dreams. You can't let people decide who you should be. Do not allow anyone put you down. Do not allow anyone distract you. Whatever you do, you're doing for you. Be it love, It should be because you want to love. Be it charity, do it because you want to. Your life is yours, own it and dearly. Shun any kind of distraction. Stay happy. Stay healthy. Stay focused. Stay humble.   I am driven to be more. Note from, Jules

Every morning you have two choices to make; Either to continue sleeping with your dreams or wake up and chase them. I feel good. Today is going to be a good day.

Salute to all young adults who are working so hard to achieve  their goals. Yes, keep building your carrier, Nothing can stop an ambitious mind. I doff my hat to the hustler.

Happy workers day all.  There is dignity in labour.  There is no shame in hustling . but there is shame in sitting around  and refusing to do something. I respect your hustle.  Keep going champ. Love and Respect.