THE BOOK - READY , SET.....GROW

Chapter 5 

THE SHALLOW GROUND

-  DONDI SCUMACI

Like i said earlier, everyone needs to cultivate the habit of reading books - books change lives. Some books make us to understand that we are not alone and some you read and it fills you with this weird Evangelical zeal, and you become so restless and convinced that the shattered world will never be put together unless you do something about it in your own little way and you pray in your heart that every human read the book.  A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies said Jojen. A man who never reads lives only once and this is true. 

Straight to my read, the chapter 5 of the book ready, set, grow is titled SHALLOW GROUND and it is all about how we hurt and destroy ourselves because we seek PERFECTION, APPROVAL/VALIDATION and we COMPARE. These three hot topics that she discussed in this chapter is everything and now i know better, 

Perfection leads to over-controlling and over-controlling is a great de-motivator. It is counteractive and will never draw the best out of you or people. Perfectionism is certainly one of the traps we can fall into. I'm a victim , i want everything perfect and if i don't get what i call my perfect, i become restless. People who are close to me would tell you if you ask them that ''when i keep anything, if you must touch it place it the exact way you found it after usage''. I always have to fall out with people because they do things differently from the way i do mine, But, this got to change. It is hard but i have to try.

Comparison leads to jealousy and jealousy can be dangerous to both the jealous and the jealous-ed. My dear, the nasty truth about comparison is that you will never win the game. There will always be someone who is better than you, In fact, there will always be people who you will always think they are better than you. When we compare ourselves to others, we are keeping scores and this means there will be a winner and a loser. When you win the other loses and you can't celebrate your victories or successes with the other person because you believe you are competing. Darlings, comparison isolates us and robs us of the opportunity to invest in others. It ushers in Jealousy and jealousy is a disease and please get well soon if you have it.
If you know me well, you'd know that i have got no space for comparison.

Validation is healthy human need, but approval is not the best way to meet it. Some of us so need an approval intervention. Many people struggle with an addition to approval. When we seek the approval of others, we are looking for a way to validate ourselves. When approval becomes your primary form of validation, it is easily to lose yourself. When the goal becomes approval, you risk your integrity. In trying to become all things to all people, it is very possible to forget who you are and what you stand for and this is when you become irrelevant.

The insatiable need for approval, constant comparison to others and striving for perfection are all symptoms of a deeper problem which is low self-esteem. This kills hope.

Please do not degenerate to this level.